Over the course of the year, a huge part of the Nashville Fellows Program is centered around discipleship. As young adults right out of college, we still have so much to learn. What does it look like to have a good theology of money and career, have a healthy work/family balance, give generously until it hurts, and so many other life issues that are not taught in college? Although we still have much to learn, we also have a significant amount we can give. What does it then look like to use the life experience we have had to positively affect others? Great questions.

One example of discipleship within the program is learning from/with our mentors. My mentor this year is Lewis Agnew, a fellow Auburn graduate, who goes to St. George’s Episcopal Church where I have been placed to serve this year. Lewis and I grab lunch every other Friday to go work through many of the issues listed above. Lewis’s wife, Katie, also went to Auburn and is on the Board or “Vestry” as it is called in the Episcopal Church. Lewis and Katie have two young girls and a newborn baby, so you can guess that the Agnew’s are a pretty busy family. Although Lewis is my mentor, I cannot exclude Katie from this blog on discipleship because she also serves on the Jobs committee in a mentor capacity for the Fellows. Regardless of their crazy schedules, both Lewis and Katie have selflessly prioritized their time to pour back into us. I cannot help but reflect on the time I have spent with this family and think about what a beautiful picture of discipleship they model and to strive for this in my own life as well.

With that being said, this example is just one of many that I know all the other Fellows have also experienced. These relationships give us real life, practical examples of people that are living out what we are learning in the classroom this year. They are not just living out Christian values when it is all sunshine and rainbows, but in the hard, everyday grind that life and family can often be.

In our classes we have talked about the reciprocal nature that is necessary of discipleship. The
process cannot stop with my mentor pouring into me, but it instead must be a cycle that I must
pay forward. A second example of discipleship in the program is with us serving in the youth or
children’s ministry at our prospective churches. I have the privilege of working with the youth
group on Wednesdays and teaching a class of 8 th graders on Sundays. I am so thankful for this
opportunity to serve, for these students have humbled and fulfilled me in ways I could not have imagined.

One of the biggest things I have learned this year is the importance and necessity of
intergenerational friendships. I have seen this not only with my mentor but also my host family
and many other adults who are engaged with the program. These relationships have shaped me
and built me up to go into youth group on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings to give back
to the younger generation.

Hello faithful blog readers, I hope you have been enjoying the commentary of our lives this year and have gotten a taste of just how wise, funny, insightful, and faithful each Fellow is. Today I don’t come with any deep revelation, but rather a note of gratefulness and a reminder of a practice I think the Fellows have recently been convicted of.

Over the past few weeks discussion on self-regard and image have come up in in class, Monday night roundtables, and casually around dinner or a game of bananagrams. From all those conversations I have walked away with a new understanding and pursuit of a practice I think we don’t spend enough time doing, the practice of affirmation. I think the common thought in society is that affirmations can be equated with compliments. Both are great, but a true affirmation will kind of hit you in the face and make you go “wait, you’re talking about me?” While that may sound aggressive, a good affirmation wrecks you in all the best ways, so much so that it leads you to call out the “glory” in others and remember that which Christ has called out in us. How often does our world flood us with images, words, ideas that suck us into negative places of thought towards ourselves and others?

Scripture encourages us in multiple places to take up this practice for our and others’ sake; Paul’s letter in Ephesians 4, talks directly about Christian life and verse 29 says it well: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear”

And again in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 in which the author gives praise for the ways their words are encouraging others in their faith.

Wow, do I need that grace in my life. I think we all do - that’s why we crave affirmation. So often the voices of our most treasured friends shed a light on the true self we let the rest of the world cast a shadow on.

I think there are a few things we can do in relation to affirmations that will help reveal to ourselves and others that we are called 'beloved' in Christ:

1. Accept compliments and words of affirmation from others. The lack of this practice has unfortunately caused an aversion to receive any kind word. Saying “thank you”, “I appreciate that”, or simply smiling, but do not rejecting what someone sees in you and wants to encourage you with is a practical way to receive. Who knows, maybe after a while you will start to believe it instead of immediately shutting it down.

2. Look for ways you can bring grace to someone through affirmations. Make it a point to see how someone may be needing encouragement and affirm them in the ways they are capable simply by naming who the Lord has made them to be. Cast vision for the ways you believe the Lord has gifted them and will use those gifts.

3. Pray that the Lord will reveal to you in His word and through His people how He sees you. Scripture is the Lord’s letter to us and over and over it affirms who we are and the love He has for us just for being ourselves.

I’ll leave you with some affirmations Molly passed along to the Fellows after roundtable one week. I started them half-heartedly thinking I was secure in who I am and in just a week of writing them on my mirror and reading them every morning, I began to realize I hadn’t wholeheartedly believed these things to be true for me all the time. Through my fellow Fellows, teachers, and mentors I have been pushed to see the self they all see when I couldn't this year. I am so grateful. Your words of encouragement, vision, and affirmation in who you see me to be have helped me silence the doubt, worry, and negative regard for myself.

Let’s commit to changing the way we talk/think about ourselves and to help each other see our glory in Christ.

-I have no fear or anxiety; I trust in The Lord with all my heart.
Proverbs 3:5,6. "Trust in The Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."
-I am able to fulfill the calling God has placed on my life.
Psalm 57:2. "I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose in me."
-I am fully resourced to do all God has called me to do.  
Deuteronomy 8:18. "But remember the Lord your God for it is he who has given you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant he has given to your forefathers, as it is today."

A few weeks ago, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 was read at church:

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.”

As I followed along I was overcome with confusion and conviction. For those who don’t know me, I can become hyper-focused and mesmerized by the ‘fun’ times. The writer of Ecclesiastes is commanding us to acknowledge the need and significance of the times that aren’t ideal or fun. I thought to myself, ‘Who wants to mourn, hate, weep, tear things down, be silent, scatter stones and die?’

I was struck with confusion because if I’m being honest, none of that sounds appealing to me; however, the Bible is telling me those times are necessary and unavoidable. Russ Ramsey uses the phrase ‘stinging stairs’ to describe the book of Ecclesiastes. He describes the book to be full of truths, that we must lean into, but they will sting. Naturally, we will avoid anything that will cause us pain. Russ asked us to go up the stinging stairs, see past the danger, and see from the landing where a perspective of the good, true, and beautiful is provided.

For me, the greatest sting I received from Ecclesiastes 3 was that I don’t allow space in my life to experience the harder times. I try to pause life in the midst of laughter, so I don’t have to address the pain. What Ecclesiastes 3 taught me is that not only are these times of weeping and mourning okay to have, but also unavoidable. I found great peace and freedom in this. The Bible expels my fear to experience something sad because that time has already been set aside and written. It doesn’t seem as foreign to me anymore.

Something I don’t allow myself to experience is sadness. Something that is associated with sadness is goodbye. I have seen many chapters of my life close and I always approach the end with fear. Fear of losing support, friends, structure and fear of being sad. I stare face-to-face with the passing of time and fear I will never be able to keep up. I have faced these endings without the knowledge, importance, and freedom of seasons.

Over the past 7 months as a group of Fellows, we have experienced the stinging staircase of life. We have encountered the hard truths of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, but also the sweetness of its promises. We have planted, searched, wept, laughed, and done a lot of dancing together. We have learned the art of being silent and speaking up. We have witnessed redemptive anger and unconditional love. We have had to tear down, build, heal, and refrain. This community has allowed me space and support to experience the spectrums of seasons. I have learned what’s on the other side of the coin because of the vulnerability, intentionality, and brokenness of this group.

I searched for this time and community. I have had the time to keep it, but like Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything.” With 51 days remaining in the program, the sun is setting on this season of life. We are coming upon the time to uproot and give up – not because we are over it or annoyed with one another, but because our time is simply almost up. This time, I enter goodbye with freedom and peace. Freedom to feel and freedom to allow the activities under heaven take their course. My heart is heavy with unknowns and fears as May 19th approaches, but I am honored to have spent a season under the sun with some of God’s Beloved Sons and Daughters.