Who You Know by Tori Regan

I am the last Fellow to blog before the rotation starts over, giving me the privilege to reflect on the past few months. I relate to Jesse in that I do not love being the center of attention, which is how one feels when it is their turn to blog. But each week, I have loved reading what he and everyone else has had to say. I relate to Anna, and her symbolic picture of the chair that we are learning to not only sit in, but to also trust that it can hold our weight. I share the love of the physical act of running with Sabrina, but the feeling of mentally running each and everyday is a difficult challenge to manage. Like Rachel, I too am attempting to create new rhythms to align with my new phase of life. After reading and reflecting on the first blog posts written by each of my peers, I can find a pattern that each one has individually tuned into: learning to navigate this year we call the Nashville Fellows. 

Anyone who knew me during my senior year of college knew that I was freaking out evert day about what I was going to do after graduation. The people who knew me the closest also knew to warn others not to ask me the question “so what are you doing after graduation?” because it would send me down a spiral. I had a wonderful college experience that I am forever grateful for. I met life-giving friends, received an amazing education, traveled to beautiful destinations, and volunteered for organizations that will have a lasting impact on me. Yet, when it came time to make a decision about post graduation, I felt blind. There were multiple avenues that I explored as possibilities for after college, but when they ultimately did not work out, I felt lost. While I felt confident about the direction of the professions I wanted to explore, I knew I did not want to do it alone. I knew that I wanted to engage the world in a unique way, a way that would give me mentors, networking opportunities, and exposure that I could learn from. Little did I know I would gain this and more in just the first three months of the Nashville Fellows Program. 

I have always heard the phrase, it’s all about who you know. I used to struggle with this idea as I always thought “why can’t it be about how hard I work?” I’m thankful for my parents who helped create a strong work ethic in me at a young age, and I have always strived to work hard to gain success. So why do I also need to worry about who I know? Why can’t my work speak for itself? In school I have always tried to set myself apart, to be the best, to compete academically, to the point where I did not want to have to worry about who I was meeting on top of that. But this program has changed my view of this. I truly can not say enough for how much I have learned from mentoring figures in this program. I feel so blessed from the job I have at Siloam Health. All of the staff are so kind and encouraging, and they are all so willing to tell me about each of their jobs, and how they have grown to where they are today. My host parents are some of the most supportive and hospitable individuals I have ever met. From day one they have embraced me, learned about me, and given me amazing advice everyday. Our leadership lunches are one of my favorite components of this program, as different city leaders join us to tell us about their spiritual and professional journeys, while also answering any questions that Fellows may have. I have quickly realized that networking is not just a one way street that only benefits me in a purely professional kickstart. I am learning from many successful individuals that it is okay, and actually common for our lives to look more like a “zig-zag” path, than for our lives to look like a simple straight line. I’ve changed my selfish thinking from “all about my work” to “who can I learn from?” I am incredibly lucky that many experienced professionals have looked at this wide eyed girl in her twenties and have not only helped immensely with my professional goals, but have given amazing life advice they wish they had known at my age. The heart of this program is to learn how to incorporate faith and work, while growing in both avenues, and I feel I have already learned so much in a short time. 

In all of this, the Lord has shown up in ways I would not expect. Our leadership lunch speaker yesterday said “I am not in charge just because I am an achiever and a boot strapper. God is the one who is always in charge.” I hope to put this mindset in the forefront of my mind as I continue through the rest of this program and anticipate meeting more figures whom I can learn from. Earlier in my post I mentioned that I felt blind during my senior year of college because I longed to see more of life outside of school. The Lord is already opening my eyes, and revealing more of his goodness as I turn to trust him. I strive to focus my thinking on how to follow and listen, and remember that He is much better at being in charge than I.