"2+7=1" by Charlie Barker

How many people are uncomfortable in their life right now? How many people have been at an event where they just don’t fit in? My guess is everybody. Everybody struggles with stepping out of his or her comfort zone. It is not an easy thing to do. I am one of two men in this Nashville Fellows community with seven other women. Now hold on, before you think that I’m about to say that women make me uncomfortable and that I don’t want to be around them, think again. This is probably one of the best things that could happen for my “fellow fella Fellow” and I.

Let me catch you up to speed. I went to college at Western Carolina University up in the mountains where I chased mountain top sunsets, waterfalls, cool refreshing swimming holes, rope swings, and clear nights you just can’t get in the city. This was a place where I was incredibly comfortable. I could let myself free with all my friends around me, my girlfriend with me almost every day, the ultimate Frisbee club team I became so close with over 4 years, and a lot of guy friends to talk to. I found out about the fellows program in February and was super pumped about it, especially when I found out the news that I was going to be a Nashville Fellow. I had many expectations. I couldn’t wait to get close to a bunch of random people and get really close with a solid group of guys. Then I found out that I was going to be one of two guys out of nine. This didn’t throw me off too much because I got excited about meeting this other guy Fellow and getting even closer to him than I would with a whole group of guys. 

Let me tell ya, Andy Moore is a solid guy, and I enjoy his company quite a bit. I can’t wait to get to know Andy better, but this particular post is not specifically about him. I’m here to tell you about being one of two guys in a group of seven women.  When I came to the Fellows Kick-off BBQ, I was quite intimidated. I began to realize I was stepping out of a cozy life and stepping into a community where I don’t know anybody. I realized I had no idea how to act in a group of mostly women for 9 whole months. I’ve always been in a community where there are plenty of guys to cut up with, tease each other, and play rough with. I realized this was going to be different.

I hope you aren’t thinking that I just don’t know how to be around women. I assure you, I do. My loving and beautiful girlfriend can attest to that. This is different. This is a community of 2 guys plus 7 women for a total of 9 people. That is about 78% female, every week, discussing biblical theory, sharing our life stories, and living life together. This is going to be a different way of interacting with a group of people. I was a little uncomfortable at first. I was going to have to change the way I respond to things, act on certain things, and do this often, but you know what…I am very excited.

We are now a month or so into the program and I couldn’t be more excited to live life with a group of people. These girls are incredible in all their ways. They are strong, hilarious, intelligent, and have done a great job of including both Andy and I both in conversation and get-togethers. They often ask me about my girlfriend, Abi, and it makes me so happy when they do because I get to talk about her. And I could talk about her a lot :)

So why does 2 + 7 = 1? I’ll tell you how. 2 guys + 7 girls = 1 community. It doesn’t matter how many guys there are, or how many girls there are, this is one solid community of men and women coming together and walking together in Christ. We are having a great time and I’m excited to continue getting to know everyone in this community. 

Here’s what I want you to take from this: Being uncomfortable is an extraordinary thing. When you are uncomfortable it helps you realize your flaws, your quirks, and any expectations you may have. This is where you can take that knowledge, learn something about yourself, and apply it to adapt to your surroundings. God has called us as Christians to spread His Word so that people will know of Him and know everything He has done for them. From these women, I am learning to adapt to my surroundings so that I can continue to thrive in God’s Word. Being placed in this community is a blessing and I am truly thankful.

So go be uncomfortable and be awkward. That is where great things can happen.